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《都挺好》揭露“原生家庭”的复杂面相 网友:又好气,又好笑,

时间:2019-09-09 01:05 点击:
Our family of origin is the family we were born or adopted into. It's the people who raise us and who we spend most of our childhood with. 原生家庭指我们出生或被收养时所在的家庭。指的是是那些养育我们、和我们一起度过童年时光的人。 The imp

  Our family of origin is the family we were born or adopted into. It's the people who raise us and who we spend most of our childhood with.

  原生家庭指我们出生或被收养时所在的家庭。指的是是那些养育我们、和我们一起度过童年时光的人。

  The importance of an individual's family of origin is enormous. Since parenting shapes a child's core beliefs about himself or herself, our family's beliefs about what it means to be human and the purpose of life will have a tremendous influence on what we learn and how we develop.

  原生家庭对一个人的影响是巨大的。因为父母教育塑造了孩子对自己的核心信念,一个家庭对"为人"和"人生目的"的概念将对我们个人的的学习和发展产生巨大的影响。

  若是你的原生家庭很幸福,你很幸运,它会成为你一生的治愈。

  但现实中,存在很多不健康的原生家庭,正如剧中一样。

  Since the quality of family life is created by the parents, it stands to reason that if a parent or both parents are not mature enough, they will have difficulty creating a healthy family environment. Depending on the degree of immaturity, the family environment can range from slightly unhealthy to extremely unhealthy.

  由于家庭生活的质量是由父母创造的,因此,如果父母一方或双方都不够成熟,他们将很难创造一个健康的家庭环境。根据不成熟的程度,家庭环境可能从轻微不健康到极端不健康不等。

  Immaturity includes, but is not limited to, being unable to resolve conflict well, an inability to communicate openly and honestly, an unwillingness to assume adult responsibilities and wanting to be "taken care" of.

  这种不成熟包括但不限于:不能很好地解决冲突、不能公开和诚实地沟通、不愿意承担成年人的责任而是想要被“照顾”。

  若是你受过原生家庭的伤害,很难愈合,很难忘记,要做到原谅,可能很难,但至少学着放下,还是期望你,能为自己,活出一个更好的后半生。

  东野圭吾说:谁都想生在好人家,可无法选择父母,发给你什么样的牌,你就只能尽量打好它。

  就像剧中的苏明玉一样,是不得不被迫成长的倔强,是对自己清醒规划的理智,成就了现在的她。

  尽管生活交付的那些苦痛,苏明玉并没有放弃心中的爱和善良。

  这部剧反映了另外一个主要问题是,现在社会中仍存在的“重男轻女” 问题。

  Son preference in China is a gender preference issue. Preference of sons can be explained by an attitude:it believe that boys have more value than girls; it can be defined as a gender bias as well. This phenomenon in China can be shown in gender sex ratio.

  “重男轻女” 在中国是一个性别偏好问题。重男轻女可以解释为一种态度: 即认为男孩比女孩更有价值; 这也可以被定义为是一种性别偏见。这一现象在中国从性别比例上可以体现出来。

  在学术界,这样的性别偏好可以从历史角度解释:

  The majority of men are naturally superior to women in terms of physical strength. In the early stage of human evolution, stronger physical means more sources of food and more survival opportunities in tribal warfare.

  大多数男性相较于女性在体能上更为强壮。在人类进化的早期阶段,更强壮的身体意味着更多的食物来源和部落战争中更多的生存机会。

  Furthermore, Chinese agrarian society influences sex preference deeply as well. It is obvious that agriculture needs physical strength in a primitive agricultural society. Thus, the long run agriculture society in China can explain this phenomenon.

  此外,中国农业社会对性别偏好也有深刻的影响。在原始农业社会中,农业显然需要体力。因此,中国长期的农业社会可以解释这一现象。

  也有人试图从投资学的角度来看:

  Majority of investments shows that the financial support that parents receive after their child's marriage is significantly affected by their child's gender. This can be one of the reasons that Chinese parents are more willing to have a son.

  很多投资学表明,父母在子女结婚后获得的经济支持受到子女性别的显著影响。这可能是中国父母更愿意生儿子的原因之一。

  但是在科技发展的现代社会,体力占优已不能直接等于更多收入,男性的传统优势已经在减弱。

  相应的,由于有相对较好学业表现和职业表现,女性的传统“劣势”形象正渐渐被改变。

  在美国,甚至一度出现了“重女轻男”的现象,

  A new study, however, measured that preference in a different way. While having a daughter versus a son used to make American parents more likely to keep having children, theoretically to try for a son.

  一个新的调查(2018年3月)显示,美国父母对子女性别的喜好发生了转变。在过去,当育有一个女儿的家庭更倾向于继续生育孩子,尤其是生育一个儿子,

  Now the opposite is true: Having a daughter makes it less likely that they keep having children. Some data from adoptions and fertility procedures that allow parents to choose the sex of their baby also shows a preference, to varying degrees, for girls.

  但现在情况却是相反:生育一个女儿的家庭更倾向于不再继续生育。一些来自收养和生育机构(这些机构允许父母选择孩子性别)的数据也显示,父母在不同程度上更偏爱女孩。

  由于农耕时期的儒家思想(Confucianism)、“孝道” (Filial Piety)等思想千年来影响着我们,不可避免的,现在仍有一些“重男轻女”的现象出现。

  但相信有一天,“樊胜美”和“苏明玉”的悲剧不会再发生,每一个人都能平等的感受家庭的温暖。


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